Even whilst wearing a wig
photo by Jan Kopriva on Unsplash
I am nothing if not unstoppable, well that’s what my mum always used to say.
I remember staying with my Nanna in Ireland for the first time when I was around six years old. A whirling dervish my Nanna used to utter.
I didn’t think that it applied to the grown-up version of me
Ok; so I’m going to skip over the bit where I found my lump, got diagnosed, told my children etc… ( I certainly do not take it lightly, it was a horrendous experience. However, it is not the point of this story.
That said I do need to just give you a little bit of background.
The situation when I was diagnosed: I was living with my second husband and my two children. our marriage was over.
I was sleeping and spending as much time as possible in the spare room. I was working for social services on a new trial project called the independent living team. I was looking for a small cottage nearby.
My husband was my best friend.
At the point that I joined the dating site ( this was pre Tinder … thank god!) It was called Cheeky Fifty. I was only 45. I was after an unfair advantage there! So shoot me — had to even up the playing field somehow - What with having no hair left.
After trawling through many profiles I ended up exchanging messages with a few gentlemen. I had a couple of dates one of which was a total disaster due to the fact that this guy ( definitely not a gentleman! ) was an arrogant arse hole in my not so humble opinion. It went like this:
We met at a beautiful old country Inn and believe me the old coach house was the only beautiful part of a very short evening. Anyhow, I arrive to find Felix sat at a table with a glass of wine already waiting for me.
Mistake number one: Assumed what I wanted to drink.
He stood up and greeted me and kissed me on the cheek. Fair enough. He then proceeded to squeeze my buttocks…. HARD!
It kind of went downhill from there. He proceeded to tell me all about his life. His past as a racing car driver (Hmmmm??) His job as a consultant to the motor industry. It wasn't a conversation, it was a monologue.
I was thinking as I was awaiting my chance to get a word in edgewise that the evening couldn't get much worse. (I’m Obviously not very perceptive)
When Felix ( yes that really was his name… suited him… cat that's got the cream etc…) reached out and put his hand on my knee, squeezed it ( he liked squeezing!), and announced whilst looking at my wine glass, “ You can have as many of those as you like darling, I’ve booked us a room upstairs. Of course, I understand if you can’t stay the whole night.”
I was at once both flabbergasted and furious. He couldn't have made me feel more like a hooker if he'd tried. I am not one for making a scene in public or anywhere else for that matter, but as the saying goes there's a first time for everything.
I clenched my glass in my hand stood up quickly and turned to face him, and with a deft flick of the wrist, the contents flew into his still smiling face.
As I stormed out the bar erupted into claps and cheers! I don't know if they heard what was said or just enjoyed the spectacle.
Needless to say, Felix was not the guy I fell in love with.
This is going to be a four-part series otherwise the posts will get too long. We have a few more frogs to kiss… So please do join me, and sign up to my site to get notified when I publish the next instalment.
Writing words that Sell
I am in the behaviour modification business.! However never fear, it's done from the heart. I use words to sell services.
A fabulous way to earn a living.
Breast Cancer
Mature Dating
Chemotherapy
Humour
More from Claire Wheeler I am in the behaviour modification business.! However never fear, it's done from the heart. I use words to sell services. A fabulous way to earn a living. It kind of went downhill from there. He proceeded to tell me all about his life. His past as a racing car driver (Hmmmm??) His job as a consultant to the motor industry. It wasn't a conversation, it was a monologue.
I was thinking as I was awaiting my chance to get a word in edgewise that the evening couldn't get much worse. (I’m Obviously not very perceptive) When Felix ( yes that really was his name… suited him… cat that's got the cream etc…) reached out and put his hand on my knee, squeezed it ( he liked squeezing!), and announced whilst looking at my wine glass, “ You can have as many of those as you like darling, I’ve booked us a room upstairs. Of course, I understand if you can’t stay the whole night.”
I was at once both flabbergasted and furious. He couldn't have made me feel more like a hooker if he'd tried. I am not one for making a scene in public or anywhere else for that matter, but as the saying goes there's a first time for everything.
I clenched my glass in my hand stood up quickly and turned to face him, and with a deft flick of the wrist, the contents flew into his still smiling face.
As I stormed out the bar erupted into claps and cheers! I don't know if they heard what was said or just enjoyed the spectacle.
Needless to say, Felix was not the guy I fell in love with.
This is going to be a four-part series otherwise the posts will get too long. We have a few more frogs to kiss…
I don’t want to bore you to death when you’ve been as kind to read this far. Please don’t forget to clap if you’ve enjoyed this post 🙏🙏
WRITTEN BY
Claire Wheeler
I am in the behaviour modification business.! However never fear, it's done from the heart. I use words to sell services. A fabulous way to earn a living.
Breast Cancer
Mature Dating
Chemotherapy
Humour
More from Claire Wheeler
I am in the behaviour modification business.! However never fear, it's done from the heart. I use words to sell services. A fabulous way to earn a living.